It's been a crazy 2012 so far, maybe I will write some about it later, but for now we're on to the garden -
The garden this year is a bit of a mess with the move, but I have 4 hops bines in containers that have survived the move in various states. The willamette, which never took off at the old house, is the one hop plant that survived the move well. It is up it's rope about 5 feet and the leaves are green and healthy. My top cascade bine was up over 15 feet when we moved, and it died off, so I cut the bines off at about one foot. I thought it might be dead for good, but in the last couple days, new shoots have started and it is growing well again. The jury is still out on the goldings. It looks okay, but is not really growing. I do not expect a harvest from any of them this year, but there is promise for next year.
We have some veggies planted too. The bell pepper seeds I saved from a store bought pepper never took off, so that was disappointing. I have 2 tomato topsy turveys that are going well though. I just planted garlic, onions and cucumbers in containers as well. I am keeping my fingers crossed on those. We might plant a few herbs too, some chives and cilantro maybe.
Other than that, Heidi's rosebush is thriving in it's new container. It has two big flowers forming. Her begonias and marigolds are looking promising too. So far so good.
The patio is a little messy from me planting the onions and garlic just now, so there probably won't be pictures until there are some results to see.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Saturday, November 26, 2011
God Bless You, Mr Vonnegut
Putting this here so I don't lose it again.
“Thus did a handful of rapacious citizens come to control all that was worth controlling in America. Thus was the savage and stupid and entirely inappropriate and unnecessary and humorless American class system created. Honest, industrious, peaceful citizens were classed as bloodsuckers, if they asked to be paid a living wage. And they saw that praise was reserved henceforth for those who devised means of getting paid enormously for committing crimes against which no laws had been passed. Thus the American dream turned belly up, turned green, bobbed to the scummy surface of cupidity unlimited, filled with gas, went bang in the noonday sun.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You Mr. Rosewater
“Thus did a handful of rapacious citizens come to control all that was worth controlling in America. Thus was the savage and stupid and entirely inappropriate and unnecessary and humorless American class system created. Honest, industrious, peaceful citizens were classed as bloodsuckers, if they asked to be paid a living wage. And they saw that praise was reserved henceforth for those who devised means of getting paid enormously for committing crimes against which no laws had been passed. Thus the American dream turned belly up, turned green, bobbed to the scummy surface of cupidity unlimited, filled with gas, went bang in the noonday sun.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You Mr. Rosewater
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The First of Many (I Hope)
With it being my day off and the weather being so beautiful, I took Heidi for a true ride on the bike today. She has been out with me before on the bike, but those were short little rides around town. They were nice and all, but I wanted to see how a long ride would go. I switched out seats on the bike and moved the top luggage attachment back to make things more comfortable a couple days ago. It had been deemed a successful adjustment already.
After I brought Heidi home from dialysis (and then some futzing around with the clutch switch) we were off. We took off through town and out Rt 6 enjoying the sun and wind, well I was at least. The wind was making her a little cold, so she put her hands inside her sleeves. We rode out to through Tiffin, Oxford and Homestead and then north into Amana. I go out to Millstream Brewery whenever I get a chance, so we stopped there. I tried their newest Brewmaster series beer, a rye helles dopplebock. It was very good. Since we had the luggage on the bike, I bought a 4 pack to bring home.
By this time Heidi was very hungry so we rode south through Homestead, South Amana and then into Marengo to check out Fat Daddy's. Unfortunately for us, and for Fat Daddy's, they are not open for lunch on weekdays however. We decided on the Landmark Restaurant in Williamsburg instead, so we took off back through Marengo and then south through Conroy (where I bought the old bike) and into Williamsburg. We almost stopped at Fireside Winery, but I know how hungry Heidi gets after dialysis, so I decided it would be better to get her some food instead. Lunch was fairly good, a patty melt for me and Heidi got a favorite of hers, a hot beef open-faced sandwich with potatoes and gravy. After a piece of fruit of the forest pie (every fruit they have in one pie I think) Heidi started looking pretty tired though.
We decided to skip the winery and just come home. I could tell Heidi was really tired because she agreed to come home on the interstate, which kinda scares her on the bike. The wind was a little stronger on such an open road, but I just took it easy, keeping it at about 65-70, and just let traffic pass us. It was an easy 25 miles home. Once we got home, Heidi managed to take the dog for a short walk before falling asleep in the easy chair.
Thank you hon for an excellent day, and I hope a glimpse of some of what we will be doing once the kids are out of the house. Next time I will try to get out on a Tuesday so Heidi isn't so wiped out from dialysis though. That way we can leave earlier and trek out further. Now I think we may be taking Syd to see Soul Surfer, which is alright by me too.
After I brought Heidi home from dialysis (and then some futzing around with the clutch switch) we were off. We took off through town and out Rt 6 enjoying the sun and wind, well I was at least. The wind was making her a little cold, so she put her hands inside her sleeves. We rode out to through Tiffin, Oxford and Homestead and then north into Amana. I go out to Millstream Brewery whenever I get a chance, so we stopped there. I tried their newest Brewmaster series beer, a rye helles dopplebock. It was very good. Since we had the luggage on the bike, I bought a 4 pack to bring home.
By this time Heidi was very hungry so we rode south through Homestead, South Amana and then into Marengo to check out Fat Daddy's. Unfortunately for us, and for Fat Daddy's, they are not open for lunch on weekdays however. We decided on the Landmark Restaurant in Williamsburg instead, so we took off back through Marengo and then south through Conroy (where I bought the old bike) and into Williamsburg. We almost stopped at Fireside Winery, but I know how hungry Heidi gets after dialysis, so I decided it would be better to get her some food instead. Lunch was fairly good, a patty melt for me and Heidi got a favorite of hers, a hot beef open-faced sandwich with potatoes and gravy. After a piece of fruit of the forest pie (every fruit they have in one pie I think) Heidi started looking pretty tired though.
We decided to skip the winery and just come home. I could tell Heidi was really tired because she agreed to come home on the interstate, which kinda scares her on the bike. The wind was a little stronger on such an open road, but I just took it easy, keeping it at about 65-70, and just let traffic pass us. It was an easy 25 miles home. Once we got home, Heidi managed to take the dog for a short walk before falling asleep in the easy chair.
Thank you hon for an excellent day, and I hope a glimpse of some of what we will be doing once the kids are out of the house. Next time I will try to get out on a Tuesday so Heidi isn't so wiped out from dialysis though. That way we can leave earlier and trek out further. Now I think we may be taking Syd to see Soul Surfer, which is alright by me too.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Hit Somebody
This is not mine. This is Kevin Smith's from here. It is part of a scene he is writing for Hit Somebody. (The part of Blue Jay is being written with John Goodman in mind.) I'm posting it in case it does not make the final film because I think it deserves to be preserved. So, much like the case with the American Gods 'I believe' post, it may not be roguish but it is highly quotable:
Well said... ttfn
BLUE JAY (CONT’D)
When you’re an adult, life’s not very fun anymore, kid. They expect productivity. And the pressure that comes with expectation of any kind - the stress and the anger and the jealousy…
Over a lifetime?
(mimes a heart attack; then)
But that doesn’t happen to hockey players. Know why?Buddy shakes his head. Blue Jay points to the barn.
BLUE JAY (CONT’D)
Hockey players are allowed to beat people up.Buddy’s taken back by this. Blue Jay nods.
BLUE JAY (CONT’D)
Blue Jay winks and smiles widely at Buddy.
They take out their troubles on the ice. They take it out on the puck, or some sumbitch ain’t got his head up. For two minutes, all that stuff us mere mortals gotta deal with as thinking organisms on a cold rock in space that doesn’t care whether we hang on or spin off into the Milky Way? The stuff most people call “real life”? For two minutes , a hockey player gets to skate it all away. You can’t drop gloves on life, kid - but in The Game? They’ll cheer you if you do. Because they all know what a struggle… what a fight life can be. And when they see you take a swing - with your stick or a good right hook - they feel like you’re taking a swing for them. And lots of people will tell you that ain’t right. But brother?,
(whispers)
There ain’t nothin’ righter.
Well said... ttfn
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Maibock, or Long time, no post
My blogging tends to wax and wane with my brewing, and since I am blogging I must have started brewing. Yesterday was my first brew day of 2011. With the nicer weather I got out on the deck and got the brewing equipment all set up. (It occurs to me just now as I am writing that I forgot to empty the spent grains from my mash tun, dammit!)
It was a day of firsts as a matter of fact. I brewed my first lager yesterday. I am not a very big lager fan. I usually prefer ales, but I really like maibocks. A maibock is a helles lager brewed to bock strength. So it's as strong as traditional bock but is lighter in color and with more hop presence. It is a fairly recent development compared to other styles of bock beers, frequently associated with springtime and the month of May. Color can range from deep gold to light amber with alcohol content ranges from 6.3% to 7.4% by volume. The flavor is typically less malty than a traditional bock, with a mild spicy or peppery quality from the hops, increased carbonation and alcohol content.
My grist bill was simple with 13# of pilsner malt and .5# of CaraHell malt. In brewing this I did a step mash for the first time. I did a 20 minute protein rest at ~122°, a 30 minute beta amylase rest at ~148° and a 30 minute alpha amylase rest at ~155°. I skipped the mashout because I briefly considered topping the mash with more malt and doing a Belgian tripel as well, but changed my mind as it was getting later in the day. I added 1# of rice hulls to avoid a stuck sparge and it's good that I did because my ghetto/DIY grain mill still grinds too fine. I got about 70% efficiency but I used a bit more water than I should have with the step mashes. This means I came in about 5 gravity points lower than I had planned, so a long boil and a half pound of DME got me up to 1.062, just a tiny bit lower than I planned. This should put it at about 6.3% ABV, so it will still be within the specs for the style.
I did a 90 minute boil as you should when using pilsner malt. I added 5 drops of Fermcap-S at the start to help avoid boil overs. It did pretty good until I walked away with about 10 minutes left to get the carboy ready. A tiny boil over happened as soon as I turned my back. Hops additions were fairly simple. I used 1 oz. Mt Hood (5.2 AA) for the bittering charge for 60 minutes. I used 1 oz. Hersbrucker (3.5 AA) for aroma and flavor additions for 30 and 15 minutes each. I also added Irish moss at 15 minutes remaining to help with clarity. Cooling went quickly, getting it down to 75° within 25 minutes with my immersion chiller. I then transferred to the carboy and stuck it in my fermentation fridge that has a temp controller set at 54° (thanks for the controller for Xmas mom!) for final cooling over night.
This afternoon it was at a nice 55° so I pitched 3 packets of Saflager 23 dry yeast and shook the hell out of it to aerate it. Hopefully it will be bubbling nicely in the morning. When it's done in about 6 weeks I plan to keg it up. In the meantime I have 7# of pilsner malt and am itching to get a Belgian ale going as well. I think I need a 2nd keg...
It was a day of firsts as a matter of fact. I brewed my first lager yesterday. I am not a very big lager fan. I usually prefer ales, but I really like maibocks. A maibock is a helles lager brewed to bock strength. So it's as strong as traditional bock but is lighter in color and with more hop presence. It is a fairly recent development compared to other styles of bock beers, frequently associated with springtime and the month of May. Color can range from deep gold to light amber with alcohol content ranges from 6.3% to 7.4% by volume. The flavor is typically less malty than a traditional bock, with a mild spicy or peppery quality from the hops, increased carbonation and alcohol content.
My grist bill was simple with 13# of pilsner malt and .5# of CaraHell malt. In brewing this I did a step mash for the first time. I did a 20 minute protein rest at ~122°, a 30 minute beta amylase rest at ~148° and a 30 minute alpha amylase rest at ~155°. I skipped the mashout because I briefly considered topping the mash with more malt and doing a Belgian tripel as well, but changed my mind as it was getting later in the day. I added 1# of rice hulls to avoid a stuck sparge and it's good that I did because my ghetto/DIY grain mill still grinds too fine. I got about 70% efficiency but I used a bit more water than I should have with the step mashes. This means I came in about 5 gravity points lower than I had planned, so a long boil and a half pound of DME got me up to 1.062, just a tiny bit lower than I planned. This should put it at about 6.3% ABV, so it will still be within the specs for the style.
I did a 90 minute boil as you should when using pilsner malt. I added 5 drops of Fermcap-S at the start to help avoid boil overs. It did pretty good until I walked away with about 10 minutes left to get the carboy ready. A tiny boil over happened as soon as I turned my back. Hops additions were fairly simple. I used 1 oz. Mt Hood (5.2 AA) for the bittering charge for 60 minutes. I used 1 oz. Hersbrucker (3.5 AA) for aroma and flavor additions for 30 and 15 minutes each. I also added Irish moss at 15 minutes remaining to help with clarity. Cooling went quickly, getting it down to 75° within 25 minutes with my immersion chiller. I then transferred to the carboy and stuck it in my fermentation fridge that has a temp controller set at 54° (thanks for the controller for Xmas mom!) for final cooling over night.
This afternoon it was at a nice 55° so I pitched 3 packets of Saflager 23 dry yeast and shook the hell out of it to aerate it. Hopefully it will be bubbling nicely in the morning. When it's done in about 6 weeks I plan to keg it up. In the meantime I have 7# of pilsner malt and am itching to get a Belgian ale going as well. I think I need a 2nd keg...
Friday, October 29, 2010
Change of Seasons
Fall has turned pretty hard here. When I woke up and it was below freezing this morning. I'm glad we took Yomoma (the pickup truck) in to the shop yesterday. I don't feel like riding the bike in this cold. Over the last couple weeks we have done some other things to get ready for the winter.
We had the fall trash amnesty day at the beginning of the month. A lot of crap got thrown out. There was such a huge pile of stuff that our neighbors kept asking if we were moving. I explained that it was a biannual chance to throw away anything big and not pay extra for it, so a few of them went to hurriedly do the same. The week after that I cleaned out the garage, which took a whole day. Of course I came across a number of items I wish I had thrown out the week before. I will try to reverse that order in the spring.
With the broken (post-flood, free) couch thrown out, we rearranged the living room with chairs instead of a couch. We already had one recliner, so I brought up the recliner that was down in Ian's room and brought down the bent-wood chair from our room. We even found a tv tray, so the old folks living room effect is complete.
I took down the hops and cleaned up the back yard some. The English hops got a lot of root system developed this year, but no yield to speak of, though I could have gotten maybe a half ounce of Goldings if they hadn't have grown in with the Cascades. The bigger root system will be good I hope for when I transplant them to the south side of the garage in the spring. Ian is planning to have a little get together out by the hops beds with the fire pit and some friends now that it is clear.
With the hops down, the birdfeeders went back up. It took about a week but there is much activity out there now. At the birdfeeders this morning: house and gold finches, cardinals, dark-eyed juncos, chickadees, hairy and red-bellied woodpeckers, and of course the rats with wings - house sparrows. Commonly we have mourning doves and once in while a hairy woodpecker. Some new ones have stopped by recently though, the carolina wren (that peachy colored bird as Heidi calls it) and the tufted titmouse. It's pretty relaxing to sit here and watch the birds out on the deck.
I made up a couple of beers, one for the season and one just to experiment a bit. I made a spiced pumpkin ale for the holidays. It's a bigger beer with a hefty dose of pumpkin and spice to it as well as some dark brown sugar to round it out some. I just moved that into the fridge to cold crash it before I bottle it next week. The other is a cream ale that I made using the same recipe as the one that I won at the state fair with, except I substituted 2 pounds of air popped popcorn in place of some of the malted barley. I am pretty excited to see how this comes out. Once I get some room in the fridge after these two are done, I think it is time to try a lager and a belgian beer. I have 20 pounds of pilsner malt standing by for those.
Heidi seems to be doing well with dialysis. She's gotten more accustomed to the early mornings, meaning I'm not the one waking her up anymore. She still get terrible muscle cramps on the days she does dialysis. Hopefully some medicine changes will help with that. She does have more energy and seems to be more of herself lately. It is really good to see her eyes brighter and her smiling more than she has in a long time. Next week is her transplant reevaluation, so here's hoping it all goes well.
Syd is busy with Girls on the Run and next week hockey will start back up. She also has started going to a church group called Awana Club. She really seems to enjoy it. Ian is still job searching and gearing up for driver's ed. He went to school as Silent Bob today. Heidi straightened his hair last night and he looked so different. We will be leaving soon to bring Syd her gangster girl costume and cupcakes for the class. It's kinda sad that this is the last elementary Halloween party (or the politically correct termed Autumn Parade) that we will have with our kids. They are getting so much older.
Anyways, that's all for now I think, except I found a Quotable Rogue:
All Hallow's Read, a cool idea, especially for kids,
Also there is a Live Benefit Concert for Kai Patterson-Stark a freshman cheerleader at West High that suffered a spinal stroke on September 9th leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. After four weeks in the hospital and rehabilitation, she has returned home, but has a long road ahead of her.
We had the fall trash amnesty day at the beginning of the month. A lot of crap got thrown out. There was such a huge pile of stuff that our neighbors kept asking if we were moving. I explained that it was a biannual chance to throw away anything big and not pay extra for it, so a few of them went to hurriedly do the same. The week after that I cleaned out the garage, which took a whole day. Of course I came across a number of items I wish I had thrown out the week before. I will try to reverse that order in the spring.
With the broken (post-flood, free) couch thrown out, we rearranged the living room with chairs instead of a couch. We already had one recliner, so I brought up the recliner that was down in Ian's room and brought down the bent-wood chair from our room. We even found a tv tray, so the old folks living room effect is complete.
I took down the hops and cleaned up the back yard some. The English hops got a lot of root system developed this year, but no yield to speak of, though I could have gotten maybe a half ounce of Goldings if they hadn't have grown in with the Cascades. The bigger root system will be good I hope for when I transplant them to the south side of the garage in the spring. Ian is planning to have a little get together out by the hops beds with the fire pit and some friends now that it is clear.
With the hops down, the birdfeeders went back up. It took about a week but there is much activity out there now. At the birdfeeders this morning: house and gold finches, cardinals, dark-eyed juncos, chickadees, hairy and red-bellied woodpeckers, and of course the rats with wings - house sparrows. Commonly we have mourning doves and once in while a hairy woodpecker. Some new ones have stopped by recently though, the carolina wren (that peachy colored bird as Heidi calls it) and the tufted titmouse. It's pretty relaxing to sit here and watch the birds out on the deck.
I made up a couple of beers, one for the season and one just to experiment a bit. I made a spiced pumpkin ale for the holidays. It's a bigger beer with a hefty dose of pumpkin and spice to it as well as some dark brown sugar to round it out some. I just moved that into the fridge to cold crash it before I bottle it next week. The other is a cream ale that I made using the same recipe as the one that I won at the state fair with, except I substituted 2 pounds of air popped popcorn in place of some of the malted barley. I am pretty excited to see how this comes out. Once I get some room in the fridge after these two are done, I think it is time to try a lager and a belgian beer. I have 20 pounds of pilsner malt standing by for those.
Heidi seems to be doing well with dialysis. She's gotten more accustomed to the early mornings, meaning I'm not the one waking her up anymore. She still get terrible muscle cramps on the days she does dialysis. Hopefully some medicine changes will help with that. She does have more energy and seems to be more of herself lately. It is really good to see her eyes brighter and her smiling more than she has in a long time. Next week is her transplant reevaluation, so here's hoping it all goes well.
Syd is busy with Girls on the Run and next week hockey will start back up. She also has started going to a church group called Awana Club. She really seems to enjoy it. Ian is still job searching and gearing up for driver's ed. He went to school as Silent Bob today. Heidi straightened his hair last night and he looked so different. We will be leaving soon to bring Syd her gangster girl costume and cupcakes for the class. It's kinda sad that this is the last elementary Halloween party (or the politically correct termed Autumn Parade) that we will have with our kids. They are getting so much older.
Anyways, that's all for now I think, except I found a Quotable Rogue:
P.S. Two things:
"A friend to the locals who dabbled in crime.
He'd give you a job and he'd give you his time.
He wasn't a crook, but he couldn't be conned.
John knew the difference between right and wrong."
- Ken Casey, Dropkick Murphys - Boys on the Docks
All Hallow's Read, a cool idea, especially for kids,
Also there is a Live Benefit Concert for Kai Patterson-Stark a freshman cheerleader at West High that suffered a spinal stroke on September 9th leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. After four weeks in the hospital and rehabilitation, she has returned home, but has a long road ahead of her.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Where does the time go?
Seventeen years ago today I was eagerly awaiting the birth of my son. I was just getting off of weekend duty (the midwatch no less) on Old Ironsides. I was on the quarterdeck and got the call that the doctors could not wait any longer, they had to do an emergency C-section before my wife's kidneys completely shut down. Within 20 minutes I was signed out on leave and flying down Storrow Drive at literally 90 miles an hour.
When I got to the hospital I was given some scrubs by a nurse and shown to a room to change in. She said they would be back to get me as soon as they were ready for me. I changed very quickly and sat down to wait. I was asleep within 10 minutes. (Did I mention that I had the midwatch the night before?) In their haste to get my son out, the doctors and nurses forgot about me until they were well underway. They only remembered after my wife asked where I was. They quickly came and woke me up, and brought me into the operating room.
I don't think I can adequately describe the feeling of walking in and seeing my wife's insides tied up and held on top of her chest. I had a very primal urge to slug the doctors for doing such a profane thing to my wife. However I went to her side and held her hand as the doctors wrestled with my son trying to get him out. My wife was not taking the whole thing very well and really started yelling in pain. The anesthesiologist attempted to be helpful. He first tried to calm her by comparing what the doctors were doing to playing greased watermelon. (For you midwest folks, this is a rugby-like game played in the water with a watermelon that is greased up with Crisco. I hear it is similar to a greased pig contest, though not as dirty.) This analogy had the opposite effect on my wife however. Her eyes went wide, and she started screaming in earnest. At this point the anesthesiologist pulled out his last trick in his arsenal and gassed my wife with nitrous. This muffled her screeching fairly effectively.
I try to tell this with some humor now because at the time it was terrifying. I am sleep deprived and in a room with my wife opened up. Her blood is pooled on the floor. She is screaming in pain, and I am powerless to help her. All I can do is pray that she is going to be okay, and I have never been much of a praying man. At this point my son is still an abstract thought.
Finally they pull him out and I see him taken over to a separate table. I tell my wife but she is still getting gassed at this point. He is here, but it doesn't seem real yet. After a few minutes they bring him over and put him in my arms. The ever helpful anesthesiologist stops gassing my wife and takes a snapshot of me all bleary eyed as I try not cry looking down at this small bundle in my arms. This is when reality crashes down and I realize I am a father. All my hopes and fears for my wife are multiplied now by my hopes and worries about my son. He has these big bright blotches on his head and body. My wife later calls them angel kisses, but being young and a man I have no clue what that means. I am just hoping they are benign. He is huge, swollen with water weight from my wife's gestational diabetes, but absolutely beautiful.
It seems like just yesterday to me right now. We have gone through a lot with him, but 17 years has flown by. This is his last birthday with us as a child. This is really stinging me now. I hope I have been at least half the father I hoped and tried to be. You are a great kid Ian Jacob. You have shown a lot of character that I never had at your age. Though I will miss my little fishing buddy, I look forward to you becoming a great man. Happy 17th Ian Jacob
When I got to the hospital I was given some scrubs by a nurse and shown to a room to change in. She said they would be back to get me as soon as they were ready for me. I changed very quickly and sat down to wait. I was asleep within 10 minutes. (Did I mention that I had the midwatch the night before?) In their haste to get my son out, the doctors and nurses forgot about me until they were well underway. They only remembered after my wife asked where I was. They quickly came and woke me up, and brought me into the operating room.
I don't think I can adequately describe the feeling of walking in and seeing my wife's insides tied up and held on top of her chest. I had a very primal urge to slug the doctors for doing such a profane thing to my wife. However I went to her side and held her hand as the doctors wrestled with my son trying to get him out. My wife was not taking the whole thing very well and really started yelling in pain. The anesthesiologist attempted to be helpful. He first tried to calm her by comparing what the doctors were doing to playing greased watermelon. (For you midwest folks, this is a rugby-like game played in the water with a watermelon that is greased up with Crisco. I hear it is similar to a greased pig contest, though not as dirty.) This analogy had the opposite effect on my wife however. Her eyes went wide, and she started screaming in earnest. At this point the anesthesiologist pulled out his last trick in his arsenal and gassed my wife with nitrous. This muffled her screeching fairly effectively.
I try to tell this with some humor now because at the time it was terrifying. I am sleep deprived and in a room with my wife opened up. Her blood is pooled on the floor. She is screaming in pain, and I am powerless to help her. All I can do is pray that she is going to be okay, and I have never been much of a praying man. At this point my son is still an abstract thought.
Finally they pull him out and I see him taken over to a separate table. I tell my wife but she is still getting gassed at this point. He is here, but it doesn't seem real yet. After a few minutes they bring him over and put him in my arms. The ever helpful anesthesiologist stops gassing my wife and takes a snapshot of me all bleary eyed as I try not cry looking down at this small bundle in my arms. This is when reality crashes down and I realize I am a father. All my hopes and fears for my wife are multiplied now by my hopes and worries about my son. He has these big bright blotches on his head and body. My wife later calls them angel kisses, but being young and a man I have no clue what that means. I am just hoping they are benign. He is huge, swollen with water weight from my wife's gestational diabetes, but absolutely beautiful.
It seems like just yesterday to me right now. We have gone through a lot with him, but 17 years has flown by. This is his last birthday with us as a child. This is really stinging me now. I hope I have been at least half the father I hoped and tried to be. You are a great kid Ian Jacob. You have shown a lot of character that I never had at your age. Though I will miss my little fishing buddy, I look forward to you becoming a great man. Happy 17th Ian Jacob
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